| There are times in all of our lives when we make | | | | (remember hindsight is 20/20). However, the truth is |
| decisions that yield undesirable results. These | | | | that we are unable to go back and as long as you |
| undesired results can cause minor setbacks to our | | | | have a memory, than that slate will never be clean. |
| lives, or they can sometimes cause major setbacks | | | | Yet, what you can do is adapt your thinking into that |
| to our lives. For people that prefer to take these | | | | the setback was an experience that allowed you to |
| setbacks as learning experiences, they often have an | | | | learn what not to do in the future. You can adapt |
| easier time in dealing with the fact that they were | | | | your thinking into understanding that you must now |
| unsuccessful at a given task or that they were | | | | chart a new path from where you now currently |
| temporarily derailed from their goal; however, the | | | | stand in your life. It is all about changing your |
| point for them is that they have learned from this | | | | perspective and adapting your mindset to reflect |
| experience and are ready to move forward. | | | | where you are currently in life and what you can do |
| However, for some, these setbacks take on a | | | | to not only survive in your current situation, but |
| different meaning, and instead of being a learning | | | | understand what adaptations can be made to allow |
| experience, the situation has turned them into a | | | | you to be victorious. |
| victim of their circumstances; thus, they have a hard | | | | Reflection Exercise |
| time progressing forward because they can’t get | | | | In completing this exercise, you are asked to look |
| past the regret and remorse for making a wrong | | | | inwardly to identify what regrets in your life or |
| decision. | | | | underlined automatic commitments are keeping you |
| Regret | | | | from progressing forward in your endeavors. By |
| Webster’s dictionary defines the word regret as | | | | being truthful about these things, you will begin the |
| (1) sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's | | | | process needed to adapt to your current settings |
| control or power to repair (2) an expression of | | | | and progress forward. |
| distressing emotion (as sorrow). In essence, regret | | | | 1. In thinking about what is keeping you from moving |
| can often be derived from inability to go back and | | | | forward and achieving the desires that you have for |
| change the hands of time. It is always said that | | | | your life, what elements exist that are keeping you |
| hindsight is 20/20, and if we were somehow able to | | | | from moving forward? |
| know the exact outcomes of a decision that we | | | | 2. What is it about these elements that you feel are |
| were make today, then the chances of regretting | | | | holding you back? |
| that decision would more than likely be slim to none. | | | | 3. What positive ground is being gained from dwelling |
| However, most of us are not afforded the luxury of | | | | on these elements? |
| knowing how the unforeseen acts of our | | | | 4. What steps do you feel that you could take to |
| decision-making will affect our lives and/or the lives | | | | positively adapt to your situation? |
| of others, thus, our flaw of being human and making | | | | 5. What positive benefits could come from making |
| mistakes will surface--which increases our chances of | | | | some adaptations? |
| being sorrowful or regretful about that decision. | | | | 6. Are there any negative benefits that could come |
| Although we do not have the ability to change the | | | | from making some adaptations to your current |
| hands of time to undo what has already been done, | | | | circumstance? |
| we do possess the capability to choose how we deal | | | | |
| with our lives going forward. The choice of staying | | | | After completing this exercise, ask yourself is it more |
| stuck in regret or choosing to be mobile in our life | | | | worth you to continue looking backwards, or is there |
| and proceed forward lies within us. Time is something | | | | more to be gained from adapting to your current |
| that we cannot control and time is something that | | | | circumstances and finding a way to move forward? |
| we can never get back. All we have is the moment | | | | By providing an answer to this question, you are |
| in which we are currently living with hopes of a | | | | beginning the healing process which will allow you to |
| tomorrow. So do we choose to allow yet another | | | | begin to look at your life through a renewed sense |
| day pass by, or do we choose to be adaptable in | | | | of self. Remember that life will move forward |
| progressing forward with our lives? When we live in | | | | whether we want it to or not, and if we are |
| regret, we are living in the past and thus, affecting | | | | constantly looking backwards and living in a world of |
| our ability to move forward with our lives. In fact, | | | | “should have could haves”, we will miss out |
| Jonathan Larson summed it up like this, “Forget | | | | on the opportunity to live. This is not to say that |
| regret, or life is yours to miss.” | | | | taking a moment to reflect back on where we have |
| Adaptability | | | | been and what we have gone through is a bad thing, |
| If science has taught us anything, it has taught that | | | | it only becomes a bad thing when we choose not to |
| in order to survive that we must learn how to adapt | | | | learn from the experience and move forward. |
| to our surroundings. The way that we live our lives is | | | | Another helpful exercise to assist with deciding |
| quite similar in theory to what science has taught, as | | | | whether or not you want to focus on regret or |
| there will be many obstacles that are presented to | | | | adaptability is to ask yourself these questions: |
| us throughout our stay on this earth, and most of | | | | 1. In five years, if I choose to stay in my past |
| these obstacles will often try to derail us from the | | | | regrets, what possible new regrets will I have? |
| path that we are on. As much as we would like to | | | | 2. These new regrets will have the possibility of |
| have a straight and uninterrupted path to achieving | | | | affecting what areas of my life? |
| our desired goals, it is highly unlikely that every single | | | | 3. In five years, if I choose to take positive steps |
| achievement of a personal goal will be without any | | | | towards adapting to my current situation, what are |
| potential setbacks presented. However, as these | | | | the possibilities that exist? |
| obstacles present themselves to us, do we start all | | | | 4. What areas of my life will be affected from these |
| over at square one, or do we adapt and revise our | | | | positive steps? |
| plans at the place where we are currently are? | | | | |
| In relation to regrets and the decisions that we have | | | | These powerful questions are designed to allow you |
| made that have led to those regrets, do we as | | | | to reflect on your life and what positive impacts |
| individuals often feel that if we had a clean slate and | | | | could be had should you choose to take control of |
| were able to conquer that task again that on the | | | | your life where you are currently. Remember, we are |
| next round, it would be different? Well, in most | | | | unable to go back in time and correct any of our |
| instances, if you could go back and do it over again | | | | wrongs; we can only live in our present moment, and |
| then it would more than likely be different | | | | hope for a tomorrow. |